According to our tipster, the handbook published in full below was created in by the Alpha Phi chapter at the University of California-Santa Barbara. The entire guide is also helpfully peppered with tips for not looking so gay while trying to impress other women. Let's start with scoring the potential new pledges, in which we learn that "Mandy Moore" is an abusive epithet. As the cheerfully unhinged disembodied voice of Alpha Phi's rush chair explains, "There will be NO conversing about girls in between parties, as this is against the rules. So, scoring is especially important!
Sorority bid day boob
Total Frat Move | God I Miss Sorority Rush, Or, I’m A Wistful Perv
Stragglers will be shot! The first casualty of rush is innocence, and watching it die from a couch on a fraternity house lawn is pretty awesome. Still, beer is no Trops; the magical, frozen, alcoholic nectar that any good fraternity man in Columbia reaches for on a hot day, or a cold day, or any day, really. Dammit, this office needs a blender.
Desperate Sorority Rush Guide's Frantic Scream: No Mandy Moores
I would like to be the kind of person that an acquaintance would assume is so intrinsically cool that, even as a youth, they'd imagine I was probably reading a lot of Palahniuk and really into arcane Hebrew psych rock. And that I spent my free time dyeing my hair teal, quoting Seinfeld, and studying Japanese—a precursor to Tavi's Rookie girl, I guess. You see, anyone can be into weird shit as an adult, but having had those interests as a teen is a real victory—the authentic vintage Chanel in the smelly, rotting, thrift-store mess that is high school. Unfortunately, my adolescence was as unremarkable as my diet at the time—I devoured Subway turkey sandwiches, Starbucks Frappuccinos, artificial UV rays, and anything on Bravo. After all, I did have the 'peculiar loner' thing going for me—my only three friends, bless them, all attended another high school on the other side of Dallas.
I have a super power. It is not the ability to fly or run really fast. My super power is that I can talk myself into and out of just about anything. Your sorority recruitment, no matter what time of year, over what period of time, or in what dress code, is in one way just like the sorority recruitment on every college campus: it is mainly based off of the conversations between active chapter members and Potential New Members PNMs. Girls spend the weeks preceding recruitment practicing their conversation skills and whether it is having imaginary dialogue with inanimate objects a wall, a plant, a paper plate or brainstorming good stories to tell, collegiettes know the importance their conversation plays in the impressions made during sorority recruitment.